Simple fact…we need help!
Simpler fact, we need even more help asking for help!
At least I do. Whether it’s learning to blog, researching a new market, launching a business, snowboarding, being a good father, husband, partner and, well, just person…I need help.
And, I have to tell you, for the better part of my life, I’ve denied this.
Hell, I’ve outright fought against it. My thought process went something like this, “I’m pretty smart, I work harder and faster than anyone I know, I can learn entire new fields in the blink of an eye. And, though it often takes an ounce of blood and a whole lot of pain, I almost always achieve what I’m shooting for. So, really, why would I need anyone else to help me out? All other people do is muck up MY process!”
That’s how I lived, until I realized what I was doing…
It’s about that line “though it often takes an ounce of blood and a whole lot of pain.” For decades, I assumed it had to be that way. It was my fate. Karma unfolding. But, you know what Einstein said, insanity is, “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
How could I know life could be different if I never tried a different way?
So, partly out of sheer exhaustion, getting older and the bewilderment that comes from accepting that, as a new dad some seven years ago, the better part of the time, you haven’t a clue about the intelligent thing to say, do or feel to “succeed” as a dad, I began to relent to the idea that…
Maybe, just maybe, there was another way.
And, very uncharacteristically, I began to ask for help.
Heck, I begged for help.
And, here’s something cool. When I stopped “doing the same thing over and over again,” when I let go of the notion that flying solo was the only was, I began to get a different result. Answers, solutions and success came faster. The blood and pain devoted to the process lessened dramatically, if not entirely vanished.
And, instead of other people mucking up my process…
The knowledge and ease I gained by simply letting people who knew more than me in profoundly accelerated my journey and sharing that journey became a newfound joy. A fringe benefit of bringing other along for the ride.
In business, mentors, partners, managers and staff joined as a family to allow me to accomplish what I ever could have done alone. And, in my personal life, simply asking questions of people close to me, yet far more experienced in the ways of being a good dad, husband and son…and being open to their answers has added so much to my ability to nourish my relationships.
Does it always work like this?
No, some of the people I’ve leaned on HAVE not only mucked up my process, but well, just change the first letter in the phrase “mucked up” and you’ll get what happened. No doubt, I’ve had some near-disastrous couplings. But, they were all recoverable and, over time, you get better at finding and involving the right people.
Find human catalysts…
So, take a look at what’s going on in your life right now and ask if there’s someone else you can find, let in, team with or share your journey with who’ll make your vision faster, easier, more enjoyable or allow you to succeed on a level that’d be near impossible to achieve (or at least take a LOT longer) on your own.
Then, beg, borrow or steal to get them on your team.
In business, these people are your mentors, peer advisers, mastermind partners, management team, and family of employees. In life, they may be your partners, spouses, therapists, friends and more.
And, they generally fall into two categories, advisers and actors.
Those who offer insight that moves your journey ahead. And, those who offer action that moves your journey ahead. On, rare occasion, you’ll find both qualities in a single person. If and when you do, treasure that relationship. It is pure gold.
So, what do YOU think?
Have you ever relented to allowing someone else in after resisting fiercely for anywhere from minutes to decades?
How’d it work out?
Or, are you still in go it alone mode?
What’d I miss?
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