Seems, we have a general process that crosses every type of relationship…
We start out wide and shallow, talking superficially about a broad range of topics. Grazing to see if there are any hidden patches of sweetness to be stumbled upon. Searching. Yearning. For a moment, a window of deeper connection. A shared hobby, interest, topic, quest, worldview. Something that’ll allow us to to strap on the conversational lobster bib and dive in.
Because that’s where the luscious lies.
But all to often, when we get there, we just keep grazing. We never go deep. We never suck the marrow from life’s conversational bone. It’s like waiting in the waves for the perfect set, then watching them sweep past us. I’ve done it myself countless times. And, watched so many others fall prey.
And, I wonder why that happens.
Is it fear? Fear of not having deep enough thoughts on the issue, or well enough formed arguments. Fear of being judged for our take? Fear of provoking emotion or revealing disagreement? Fear of being attacked, made fun of or bullied? Fear of having to measure up to expectations about the quality of our thoughts and ability to share them? Fear of revealing who we really are, what we believe in and how emotionally connected we are? Fear of missing out on a potentially, cooler, deeper, more valuable connection elsewhere?
I’m guessing it’s some combination of all of the above.
But, the thing is, narrow and deep is where the juice lies. It’s where the interactions that change not just points of view, but states of consciousness live. It’s where time fugues, awash in the glorious whirlwind of passionate beliefs, revelation and revolution. It’s where transformative connections are birthed, developed and given the power to flourish.
Deep and narrow is where we come alive.
Visiting that place may indeed induce fear, anxiety and uncertainty. Exposure often does. And, that’s a good thing. Hell, its a great thing. Because, exposure is a prerequisite to the moments and relationships that change us.
Embracing exposure breeds opportunity.
Avoiding it breeds banality.
As always, just thinking out loud.
What do YOU think?
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