There’s no way to do it that makes every human smile. Only shades of gray. Or pink. Or blue. 50 or more, for sure…
Your job, at every step along the path from hello to hell yes is to entice. To serve. To experiment, with respect and grace and, permission. The aim, the ultimate quest, to co-create an experience, that leads to mutual and enduring delight.
Along the way, you fumble and stumble, and on occasion, crash mightily. You seek mentors, devour knowledge, indulge, engage, give, take, study-fiercely and practice. Over time, you learn how to deepen the connection, find a groove, a soulful rhythm between you and the one(s) you seek to serve and delight, guided by expression, artistry and nuance.
With experience, you also come to understand that, while certain general ideas, mechanisms, products or techniques can make a wide swath of a particular type of person smile, no one person arrives at a place of transcendent satisfaction in the same way. The ultimate solution is, without fail, highly-tailored to the unique needs and desires of the person you seek to elevate.
So, you come to the engagement, to your partners in the dance, with power and strength, confident in what you have to offer. But also gentle and vulnerable, open to the yielding, ebbing and flowing, adapting to unique need where possible, yet also never abandoning the core of your offering.
Wait a minute…
Am I talking about entrepreneurship…or sex?
Think about the overlap:
- Practice – Work to learn and build your craft. Experiment, integrate, improve. Perfection is simply the illusion of delusion.
- Love – Fall in love with those you seek to serve. It may come naturally, or you may need to cultivate it. Even if the thing that brought you to the dance was your own desire for gratification and expression, find a place for love. If you cannot, you’ll subsist “transaction to transaction,” and eventually risk succumbing to the persistent drag of an insipid contempt. If not for others, then for yourself.
- Elevate – The best way to get what you need is to realize it was really never about you. Find your delight not just in the expression of essence, but in the elevation of others. Leave others lifted.
- Ask – Never assume you know what someone else wants or needs. Ask. But also know, there are things they’ll tell you, and things you’ll need to work to discover on your own.
- Study – Be a student of the quest, never assume you know all there is to know. Beginner’s mind always.
- Evolve – The question isn’t “will I screw up?” You will. The real question is “how will I move forward in a more learned way once I do?”
You may’ve noticed, the first letter of each element forms the acronym PLEASE. Not quite sure how I feel about that! lol.
Business and sex. Same dance, different dance floor.
Engaged with care, both trigger a stunningly similar cascade of psychological, emotional and chemical pathways. In a near-identical sequence. And both hold the potential to become exquisite expressions of craft and connection, love and belonging, acceptance and elevation, service and delight.
You won’t find this in any textbook.
Or MBA program.
The topic is too hot. Too charged.
Unease with the analogy, though, doesn’t change the fact.
The dance is the dance. Understand the process, embrace the practice, and you tap into not just a potential lever for entrepreneurial success, but a replicable pathway to the satisfaction of desire and expression.
And it all comes from a willingness to PLEASE.
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