50 Shades of Entrepreneurial Gray

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There’s no way to do it that makes every human smile. Only shades of gray. Or pink. Or blue. 50 or more, for sure…

 

Your job, at every step along the path from hello to hell yes is to entice. To serve. To experiment, with respect and grace and, permission. The aim, the ultimate quest, to co-create an experience, that leads to mutual and enduring delight.

Along the way, you fumble and stumble, and on occasion, crash mightily. You seek mentors, devour knowledge, indulge, engage, give, take, study-fiercely and practice. Over time, you learn how to deepen the connection, find a groove, a soulful rhythm between you and the one(s) you seek to serve and delight, guided by expression, artistry and nuance.

With experience, you also come to understand that, while certain general ideas, mechanisms, products or techniques can make a wide swath of a particular type of person smile, no one person arrives at a place of transcendent satisfaction in the same way. The ultimate solution is, without fail, highly-tailored to the unique needs and desires of the person you seek to elevate.

So, you come to the engagement, to your partners in the dance, with power and strength, confident in what you have to offer. But also gentle and vulnerable, open to the yielding, ebbing and flowing, adapting to unique need where possible, yet also never abandoning the core of your offering.

Wait a minute…

Am I talking about entrepreneurship…or sex?

Answer. Yes.

Think about the overlap:

  • PracticeWork to learn and build your craft. Experiment, integrate, improve. Perfection is simply the illusion of delusion.
  • Love – Fall in love with those you seek to serve. It may come naturally, or you may need to cultivate it. Even if the thing that brought you to the dance was your own desire for gratification and expression, find a place for love. If you cannot, you’ll subsist “transaction to transaction,” and eventually risk succumbing to the persistent drag of an insipid contempt. If not for others, then for yourself.
  • Elevate – The best way to get what you need is to realize it was really never about you. Find your delight not just in the expression of essence, but in the elevation of others. Leave others lifted.
  • Ask – Never assume you know what someone else wants or needs. Ask. But also know, there are things they’ll tell you, and things you’ll need to work to discover on your own.
  • Study – Be a student of the quest, never assume you know all there is to know. Beginner’s mind always.
  • Evolve – The question isn’t “will I screw up?” You will. The real question is “how will I move forward in a more learned way once I do?”

You may’ve noticed, the first letter of each element forms the acronym PLEASE. Not quite sure how I feel about that! lol.

Business and sex. Same dance, different dance floor.

Engaged with care, both trigger a stunningly similar cascade of psychological, emotional and chemical pathways. In a near-identical sequence. And both hold the potential to become exquisite expressions of craft and connection, love and belonging, acceptance and elevation, service and delight.

You won’t find this in any textbook.

Or MBA program.

The topic is too hot. Too charged.

Unease with the analogy, though, doesn’t change the fact.

The dance is the dance. Understand the process, embrace the practice, and you tap into not just a potential lever for entrepreneurial success, but a replicable pathway to the satisfaction of desire and expression.

And it all comes from a willingness to PLEASE.

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9 responses

9 responses to “50 Shades of Entrepreneurial Gray”

  1. Great stuff JF! Love the similarities and the PLEASE concept you express here between sex and entrepreneurship. “Same dance, different dance floor”, yes indeed! Lots of takeaways here too – “understand the process and embrace the practice”, my favorite. Thanks man, cheers!

  2. “Leave others lifted.” That sentence, right there, pretty much sums it up – regardless of what you’re up to. Business, sex, family, friendships: it makes no matter. Leave others lifted!

  3. Adam says:

    If you have a spare moment to whip this entry into a frenzy, Jonathan, you could find a “U” and and “R” (you are!) to go from PLEASE to PLEASURE. 🙂

    As a sex and spirit worker – sensual masseur, escort, and coach – for me, business and sex are a liberated dance on a contained dancefloor. I loved this blog!

    Especially this intensely illuminated tidbit: “The best way to get what you need is to realize it was really never about you. Find your delight not just in the expression of essence, but in the elevation of others. Leave others lifted.” That very “liftedness” can be taken in so many directions – It’s just a matter of our clients and ourselves being open to receiving the experience of such an elevated state.

    Thank you for endlessly inspiring…

  4. Otiti says:

    YES! I haven’t read the trilogy yet, but 50 Shades seems to smack me in the face everywhere I go. I HAVE read a few sex books, though, and they all point to what you talked about in this post: showing up with curiosity and an open heart, bringing all your zest to the table, and knowing that you can become what Sheri Winston calls an “erotic virtuoso” if you put in the time.

    In the same vein, I think we can become entrepreneurial virtuosos as well if we put in the time and love to get clear on why we’re here, who we’re here to serve, and what ties it all together. LOVE the PLEASE acronym; I’ll be chewing over that one for sure.

    “Engaged with care, both trigger a stunningly similar cascade of psychological, emotional and chemical pathways. In a near-identical sequence. And both hold the potential to become exquisite expressions of craft and connection, love and belonging, acceptance and elevation, service and delight.” These words just made my soul SING.

  5. anne says:

    JF, thank you! I had grown weary of all the 50 shades references. You made it relevant in both life and work. I agree with Lisa. “leave others lifted”

  6. Jennifer says:

    Thank you, Jonathan! Love the Light you bring into this world. Keep it coming. Please.

  7. Kristina says:

    Haha, perfect! Thanks! Love it! Am also working my way through your podcasts. Stunning conversations. Remarkable. Never stop! Please!
    /Kristina

  8. James says:

    Jonathan,

    I love the analogy. Keep up your output. It’s stimulating.

    Best wishes,

    James

  9. ValterV says:

    Masterful!

    I especially loved the “Perfection is simply the illusion of delusion.”
    Priceless.

    Only a few people could have married so beautifully business and sex.
    I often find parallels between the two areas (we’re all based on needs, after all).

    You’re one of the finest mind I ever met on the Net, Jonathan.
    You never cease to inspire and enlighten.
    Kudos! 🙂