Vatican ends limbo, lawyers file suit

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Vatican ends limbo, lawyers file suit

lawyers limbo vatican

Following a recent proclamation by the Vatican repealing limbo, a furious group of activist lawyers from the New York firm of Ejok, Sloof & Lirpa filed a class action lawsuit, demanding immediate injunctive relief and retroactive reinstatement of limbo.

Fueled by fear of losing the linchpin ability to keep adversaries in a state of interminable-ambiguity, this suit is just one of dozens being filed in federal district courts across the country. Lawyers from various firms are already vying for the coveted lead-counsel spot in what is sure to be aggregated into a massive class action case.

Asked for comment, ABA spokesperson Bill E. Vitornot, Esq. said, “Look, we understand the need for people to know their loved ones have passed on to a better place. But, we believe this highly partisan decision on the part of God, the Bishops and the Vatican unfairly prejudices the legal profession. It completely avoids the obvious trickle-up effect on the living. Before you know it, this thing’s going to rain down peace-of-mind and certainty, as sure as bunnies eat frogs! It will literally cripple our ability to burn retainers in the name of erroneously construing intentionally ambiguous laws. Look, don’t get me wrong, we understand the whole God’s law thing, but, seriously, there’s got to be something in this for us.”

Through his representatives on Earth, God declined comment, but reliable sources say he’s miffed and may even be contemplating a counter-suit. Minimally, experts expect a motion to change venue to Heaven.

Anticipating this, lawyers watching the case have already filed an amicus brief arguing against the move, stating, “everyone knows, that’s not where lawyers go. You can’t have a trial in a place we can’t get to!”

Stay tuned for future developments.

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13 responses

13 Responses to “Vatican ends limbo, lawyers file suit”

  1. I'm Sorry, But... says:

    I didn’t understand a word of that. Is this a follow up to another post? If so, you should have a link to the original post. Then again, maybe I just didn’t get it. :/

    Perhaps it’s just that I’m not knowledgeable about current events.

  2. Hey everyone! says:

    Look what day it is!

    Man is LifeRemix ever useless today.

  3. Since I was never able to dance the limbo very well, I think this actually is a postive turn of events, even if it looks alarming at first glance!

    Besides that, being on God’s side I will be on the winning side. Won’t I????

  4. Too bad angels can’t file Amicus Curiae! That’s was funny.

  5. Those guys at Ejok, Sloof & Lirpa really have it going on.

    If the venue gets changed to Heaven, do you think this will have an effect on climate change? Couldn’t be healthy, having all those lawyers massing at Heaven’s gate for photo ops, etc.

  6. Nez says:

    haha, nice one!

    On that note, I just noticed Gmail has a “new feature” — custom time, so for those of you with Gmail, check it out!

    (I also have a humble AFD post today as well).

    Have a great day, everyone!

  7. Well done… and yes, the new Gmail feature is great! Here is the link to that one:

    http://mail.google.com/mail/help/customtime/index.html

  8. Jonathan Fields says:

    @ everyone – So, did anyone notice the names? The law firm is “April Fools Joke” spelled backwards and the name of the ABA rep – Bill E. Vitornot sounds out to “believe it or not.”

    Hmmm, wonder if the prank’s quite over yet?! ;-)

    Thanks to Darren over at http://www.problogger.net for reminding me to do something fun with his killer Pay Per Tweet post.

  9. Lisa Gates says:

    Okay, so Brian’s dead over at copyblogger.com–disappeared with just a cryptic reference to Freddie Mercury — so I’m guessing he’s in limbo here…

    Very funny you guys…

  10. Naomi Niles says:

    Nice April Fools. You got me! I kept thinking, “Wait, is that really possible?”.

  11. Levi says:

    Wow, I totally missed the names. Hahaha that’s the best part!

  12. [...] then tapping it, subconsciously, to deliver an intended effect. On April 1st, I posted an article that was a clear spoof, just plain fun, knowing that this would be viewed as my contribution to the April Fools [...]