Comments on: The Geek’s Guide to Being Interesting http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/the-geeks-guide-to-being-interesting/ Entrepreneurship, marketing, personal devlelopment Thu, 11 Mar 2010 22:02:19 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Top 20 News in Blogging at MrHuddle for 2009-11-07 http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/the-geeks-guide-to-being-interesting/#comment-10687 Top 20 News in Blogging at MrHuddle for 2009-11-07 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:10:05 +0000 http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/?p=2337#comment-10687 [...] from our extensive coverage this week, we're extremely excited about the po... 4 Likes The Geek’s Guide to Being Interesting | Jonathan Fields I'm not the most comfortable person in social situations... Dunno why. Maybe it's that I was [...] [...] from our extensive coverage this week, we're extremely excited about the po… 4 Likes The Geek’s Guide to Being Interesting | Jonathan Fields I'm not the most comfortable person in social situations… Dunno why. Maybe it's that I was [...]

]]> By: Scott Messinger http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/the-geeks-guide-to-being-interesting/#comment-10630 Scott Messinger Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:44:53 +0000 http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/?p=2337#comment-10630 I wanted to do an imitation of Meg Ryan in "When Harry Met Sally" when I read your post (Yes! Yes! Yes!). But people already talk about me around here :) I completely understand where you are coming from and I feel the same way. When I was younger (highs school and college), I got along with everyone. This was because I was desperate to be likable, so I would hang on every word. I considered myself a very good listener. But as I grew older, I realized I just wasn't interested in what most people had to say. I realized that I spent most of my college years trying to be like my friends. Trying to act like them and learn their interests. And, while I had a lot of fun with my friends that I NEVER would have done on my own, there were things I liked to do that I never was able to, because my friends weren't interested. After college, my friends drifted away, and I found myself doing things on my own. And I LOVED it! I could just decide to go to a movie at 10PM in the middle of the week. I could try out that new bar, and leave after 10 minutes if I didn't like it. I could pick up on the weekend and drive to a different city for a Sci-Fi convention. I could do anything I wanted without needing to ask someone, or wait on someone, or come to some group consensus. I did it alone, but it was worth it, bcause I COULD DO WHAT I WANTED. Along the way I just sort of got out of the habit of holding conversations, and feigning interest. Dating was ok, because the possibility of sex is a great attention-focuser. Then I met my wife, who was actually interesting, so I didn’t have to fake anything there. But I never really got back into the habit of making small talk. These days, I have my interests. They aren’t the same as most people (no sports, not much politics, and dear god… no reality TV). I’m a pretty straight forward personality… I like to get to the point, because my attention span is so short, I’ll forget where I was going if the sentence is too long. So small talk is out.. just tell me what you want. And if your interests aren’t like mine.. that’s OK, but life is too short to spend time on you.. sorry.. that’s just the way it is. I wanted to do an imitation of Meg Ryan in “When Harry Met Sally” when I read your post (Yes! Yes! Yes!). But people already talk about me around here :)

I completely understand where you are coming from and I feel the same way. When I was younger (highs school and college), I got along with everyone. This was because I was desperate to be likable, so I would hang on every word. I considered myself a very good listener.

But as I grew older, I realized I just wasn’t interested in what most people had to say. I realized that I spent most of my college years trying to be like my friends. Trying to act like them and learn their interests. And, while I had a lot of fun with my friends that I NEVER would have done on my own, there were things I liked to do that I never was able to, because my friends weren’t interested.

After college, my friends drifted away, and I found myself doing things on my own. And I LOVED it! I could just decide to go to a movie at 10PM in the middle of the week. I could try out that new bar, and leave after 10 minutes if I didn’t like it. I could pick up on the weekend and drive to a different city for a Sci-Fi convention. I could do anything I wanted without needing to ask someone, or wait on someone, or come to some group consensus. I did it alone, but it was worth it, bcause I COULD DO WHAT I WANTED.

Along the way I just sort of got out of the habit of holding conversations, and feigning interest. Dating was ok, because the possibility of sex is a great attention-focuser. Then I met my wife, who was actually interesting, so I didn’t have to fake anything there. But I never really got back into the habit of making small talk.

These days, I have my interests. They aren’t the same as most people (no sports, not much politics, and dear god… no reality TV). I’m a pretty straight forward personality… I like to get to the point, because my attention span is so short, I’ll forget where I was going if the sentence is too long. So small talk is out.. just tell me what you want. And if your interests aren’t like mine.. that’s OK, but life is too short to spend time on you.. sorry.. that’s just the way it is.

]]> By: Nate http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/the-geeks-guide-to-being-interesting/#comment-10629 Nate Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:36:41 +0000 http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/?p=2337#comment-10629 Jonathan - I'm the EXACT same way. I'm most definitely an introvert and from reading your above article, I would guess that you are as well. The thing is, like you, I'm not anti-social by any means. It's just that I don't need to talk to everyone and be the most interesting person in the room. I like to linger on the outskirts during a social gathering. I don't want to be the center of attention. Now...get me in contact with someone who I really connect with. Someone who loves philosophy, psychology, paranormal topics, spirituality, entrepreneurship, unique ways of living (a la Thoreau),travel and I can start talking for hours. I always wanted to be that person who can talk to everyone and be friends with everyone, but I'm just not that person. I'm finally starting to do a better job of accepting who I am and my own unique strengths. Jonathan -

I’m the EXACT same way. I’m most definitely an introvert and from reading your above article, I would guess that you are as well. The thing is, like you, I’m not anti-social by any means. It’s just that I don’t need to talk to everyone and be the most interesting person in the room. I like to linger on the outskirts during a social gathering. I don’t want to be the center of attention.

Now…get me in contact with someone who I really connect with. Someone who loves philosophy, psychology, paranormal topics, spirituality, entrepreneurship, unique ways of living (a la Thoreau),travel and I can start talking for hours.

I always wanted to be that person who can talk to everyone and be friends with everyone, but I’m just not that person. I’m finally starting to do a better job of accepting who I am and my own unique strengths.

]]> By: Zoltán Cserei http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/the-geeks-guide-to-being-interesting/#comment-10627 Zoltán Cserei Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:38:45 +0000 http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/?p=2337#comment-10627 Hey Jonathan, very nicely crafted post, that resonates with me, too. Being selectively social is very important, and it's important to realize that we cannot please everyone. I usually switch to trying to please those who please me too, those who I feel good with.. why would anyone want to be considered as a top friend by anyone that they don't consider a top friend? It's like you cannot tell a funny joke until that joke could make you laugh too. If you're too frustrated to laugh at it, others won't, either. Nice article. :D Best wishes, Zoli Hey Jonathan,
very nicely crafted post, that resonates with me, too.
Being selectively social is very important, and it’s important to realize that we cannot please everyone. I usually switch to trying to please those who please me too, those who I feel good with.. why would anyone want to be considered as a top friend by anyone that they don’t consider a top friend? It’s like you cannot tell a funny joke until that joke could make you laugh too. If you’re too frustrated to laugh at it, others won’t, either.
Nice article. :D

Best wishes,
Zoli

]]> By: Andy http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/the-geeks-guide-to-being-interesting/#comment-10621 Andy Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:12:59 +0000 http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/?p=2337#comment-10621 Following Dale Carnegie's advice, if you can remember people names and something interesting about them you can introduce them to other people. > Have you met Jonathan? He's recently discovered that he's not a cave dweller. Following Dale Carnegie’s advice, if you can remember people names and something interesting about them you can introduce them to other people.

> Have you met Jonathan? He’s recently discovered that he’s not a cave dweller.

]]> By: Steven Handel http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/the-geeks-guide-to-being-interesting/#comment-10617 Steven Handel Sat, 14 Nov 2009 05:40:13 +0000 http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/?p=2337#comment-10617 Couldn't have said it better myself! Also by being interested in others we learn more about them, and we thus learn more about life in general. If you find someone who is really smart about cars - ask him about cars! If you find someone who is a biologist - ask him to expand more on the interesting quirks of evolution! By doing this you become more intelligent and you gradually gain more and more to add to future conversations. So you are absolutely right! The more interested we are, the more interesting we become! Couldn’t have said it better myself!

Also by being interested in others we learn more about them, and we thus learn more about life in general. If you find someone who is really smart about cars – ask him about cars! If you find someone who is a biologist – ask him to expand more on the interesting quirks of evolution!

By doing this you become more intelligent and you gradually gain more and more to add to future conversations.

So you are absolutely right! The more interested we are, the more interesting we become!

]]> By: Amy http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/the-geeks-guide-to-being-interesting/#comment-10610 Amy Fri, 13 Nov 2009 00:44:55 +0000 http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/?p=2337#comment-10610 Amen! Amen!

]]> By: Hugh http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/the-geeks-guide-to-being-interesting/#comment-10608 Hugh Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:13:00 +0000 http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/?p=2337#comment-10608 "We were given two ears and one mouth because we're supposed to listen twice as much as we talk." This is one of my favorite quotes and it ties into your post quite well. Fact is, when we're not so busy trying to remember what we want to say next, we can actually listen and LEARN a ton! “We were given two ears and one mouth because we’re supposed to listen twice as much as we talk.” This is one of my favorite quotes and it ties into your post quite well. Fact is, when we’re not so busy trying to remember what we want to say next, we can actually listen and LEARN a ton!

]]> By: Ash http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/the-geeks-guide-to-being-interesting/#comment-10601 Ash Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:15:37 +0000 http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/?p=2337#comment-10601 GREAT post. You know, whenever I'm nervous talking to someone, I consciously remind myself to simply be interested in them, ask questions about them, and make them talk to me. Usually, by doing this you not only allow the conversation to evolve organically (normally you'll end up discovering a connection you both have, or something you are able to comment on), but people really do love talking about themselves, and if you are interested in hearing about their lives, they'll automatically love you. Learned this lesson through working in sales for years! GREAT post. You know, whenever I’m nervous talking to someone, I consciously remind myself to simply be interested in them, ask questions about them, and make them talk to me. Usually, by doing this you not only allow the conversation to evolve organically (normally you’ll end up discovering a connection you both have, or something you are able to comment on), but people really do love talking about themselves, and if you are interested in hearing about their lives, they’ll automatically love you. Learned this lesson through working in sales for years!

]]> By: caitlyn http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/the-geeks-guide-to-being-interesting/#comment-10600 caitlyn Wed, 11 Nov 2009 09:51:34 +0000 http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/?p=2337#comment-10600 I think you're interesting. Stay home & write. ENFJ/P I think you’re interesting. Stay home & write.

ENFJ/P

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