We were 20 feet off the ground, suspended among the treetops in a dense forest in Western Massachusetts.

My little girl looked up. “Daddy,” she said, “I’m scared…”

She just turned 8, so I wasn’t surprised. What did surprise me, though, was that 30-minutes and 6 stations into her first ever high-ropes course, this was the first time she voiced her fear. She’d pretty much flown through every challenge, scampering across wire bridges, floating block ladders and navigating itty bitty platforms wrapped around trees high above the earth without a hint of hesitation.

But, this was different. It was her first ever zip line.

For those not versed in the ways of the zip line, imagine a James Bond-ish wire cable strung between two trees at a downward angle. Then clip a small roller device from your body harness onto the rope, hang off the roller and go screaming down the line toward the tree at the end (just look at the image above).

As we sat on the platform, I checked her safety straps and carabiners and replied, “It’s okay to be nervous, I’m a little scared too. But, you can still do this. And once you hit the other side, I bet you’ll think it was one of the coolest things you’ve ever done.”

She looked at me nervously and asked me to go first, which I did. Moments later, she came hurtling my way, eyes wide open with a look that morphed from fear into a smile, then a scream, then a giggle and an outright laugh with each moment of acceleration.

I caught her at the end and pulled her into the safety of the platform while we unhooked the pulley and transferred her safety carabiners onto the wire anchors on the platform.

She looked up and, without skipping a beat, uttered, “let’s do that again!”

And, indeed, we did. Many times. There’s a proverb I’ve heard recounted in many different forms that goes something like this, “Courage is not the absence of fear, it’s the willingness to take action in the face of fear.”

In that moment, high up in the trees, I think we both understood the power of this simple idea.

So, I’m curious, have you ever experienced anything like this?

Share your thoughts below…

People keep talking about what a huge time sink social media can become…

But, I’ve noticed something else happening with increasing frequency. It seems like more and more bloggers and social media regulars are actually living their lives through social media, rather than living extraordinary lives outside of social media and blogging, then tapping it as a means to share their experiences with a like-minded community online.

And, I have to confess, since selling my last company and coming down off my book launch, I’m feeling a bit like I’m one of them.

If you write about social media or tech, I get that. But, more and more, I’m seeing people fall prey reiterating, rehashing or spinning what other people have written about their “area of interest,” instead of seeking out experiences in that area and sharing what they’ve learned.

So, for example, if you write about small business or marketing, are you sharing what you’re discovering through your own adventures in business and marketing? Or, are you sharing what you think about what other people are reporting about business and marketing.

Because, when it comes down to it, if it’s well-written and story-driven, I’ll read the former forever, but the latter leaves me flat in fairly short order.

Truth is, I began to think about this while hanging out with my friend Chris Guillebeau this week, who writes the Art of Nonconformity blog. Chris is 4 years into a 5 years odyssey to visit every country in the world, then share the often fascinating, practical and insightful details of his travels.

His blog has taken off in the last few months in part because he’s a very real, decent guy who’s unusually transparent and can really write. But, even more because he’s living an extraordinary life, one that so many others dream of living, even on a micro-level. And Chris’ willingness to share that life through the vehicle of social media allows others to not only come along for the journey, but potentially learn enough and become emboldened enough to mount their own nonconformist travel odysseys.

Talking to Chris reminded me how important it is to develop a life away from the screen, something I’ve grown increasingly attached to over the last 6 months. And, I’m wondering whether it’s time for me, as I move into a fairly major transitional moment in my career and life, to step back and do a bit of creative digital destruction.

To get back to what makes me come alive. Then, turn to blogging and social media not as a way to live any substantial part of my life, but to share my adventures, experiences and discoveries away from the screen and have the tremendous gift of learning from you guys, my amazing family and community of lifestyle pioneers and explorers.

As always, just thinking out loud.

What do you think?

Let’s discuss…

Picture this, your 20 year reunion is coming up and looking to made a huge impression…but you you’re feeling a bit, um, huge. Truth is, you’ve needed to lose about 100 pounds for years, but now there’s a reason and a target date.  The event is 6 months away, so it’s doable but extremely aggressive.

Question is, what do you focus on in order to maximize the likelihood of success?

Two major approaches offer radically different advice.

Goal Setting By Focusing on a Massive Change

First, there’s the mega-goal approach. Made famous in business by Built to Last author, James C. Collins, who believed the greatest companies all had what he termed “big, hairy, audacious goals” or BHAGs. Other expressions come in the form of classic saying like, “if you shoot for the stars, but land on the moon, that’s still pretty impressive.” Or, it’s gotta be worth the effort.

The idea behind this approach is the notion that grand visions have exponentially more power than little, more mundane goals. Achieving great things takes sustained, often tireless and unpleasant work over an extended period of time. It takes being able to surmount hurdles, roadblocks, emotional crashes, outside judgments and waves of self-doubt. And that level of effort can’t be sustained by anything other than the prospect of complete and utter world domination, fame, glory or some other benchmark of success on a massive scale.

Following this approach, if you wanted to lose weight, we’d tell you to focus on that 6 month vision, visualize what you’ll look and feel like when you lose the 100 pounds. Create a detailed picture of what it will allow you to do, how it will change your life, what it will mean on a visceral, emotional and physical level. Describe the drop-jaws, hush-talk and looks of awe on each person as you stride into the reunion looking and feeling like the god or goddess you were always meant to be.

No doubt, there’s a lot of power in the this approach. In fact, it tends to be the way I pursue my lifestyle adventures and passion-driven quests.

Goalsetting by Focusing on Baby Steps

But, there’s another approach that’s got it’s own rally cry and a pretty good argument to boot. It’s called The Kaizen Way after it’s major promoter and it suggests doing the exact opposite of the BHAG/shoot for the moon approach.

Kaizen says that when you shoot for the moon, you are bound to fail. The reason offered is that the average person looks at a goal that would bring massive change and instead of becoming motivated…shuts down. They become so overwhelmed by the enormity of the challenge that lies before them, they end up immediately focusing on how unlikely they’ll ever be to pull it off. This leads to a cascade of negative emotion, self-talk and a dramtic increase in the likelihood that you’ll abandon your grand vision shortly into your quest.

The solution then, according to Kaizen, it’s to chunk it down to the tiniest, most psychologically doable steps and focus on one step and only only step at a time. I have to admit, there’s a certain elegance and sensibility to this approach and the theory behind it as well.

And, the Winner Is…

Damned if I know!

Yeah, I know this is the place where I’m supposed to resolve the battle and declare a winner. But, honestly, there’s a lot of truth to both. And, I wonder if it’s more a matter of figuring out which is a better match for your temprement. I know, for me, baby steps don’t work. I need to see the big ring. And, truth be told, I need also know there’s substantial gratification built into the process, too.

So, I’m curious…what do you think? What’s been your experience?

Do BHAGs work better for you or baby steps?

Let’s discuss…

Here’s how it starts…

One of the biggest mistakes I see entrepreneurs and companies of all sizes make is treating product development, marketing and sales as three independent pursuits.

Truth is, they are all hopelessly intertwined parts of the same process. And, without fail, the more innovative energy you give to the first, the less time, money and energy you have to spend on the last two.

Let’s look at the fitness industry as an example…

Your average health club is packed to the gills with rows of cardio, TVs, 30 or 40 resistance training machines, free weights, functional exercise toys, mats and a room or two for classes. Throw in a smoothie bar, jazzier lockers and childcare and you’ve got a modest claim of differentiation. But, fact is, rare is the club that spends any real time, energy and money on developing their product into something that delivers not only a massively different, but vastly better solution. Especially for the 85% of Americans who, despite 30 years of marketing and public service campaigns, still won’t touch health clubs with a 10-foot pole.

In the post, I then share an approach to integrated solution-development, marketing and sales that turns the entire process upside down, makes competition largely irrelevant and literally expands the market.

And, while the example I share unfolds in the fitness industry, the discussion is relevant for any biz, which is why I wanted to let you guys know about it.

You can read the entire post on a new approach to marketing, product development and sales here.

Ever wonder what the real deal is with visualization?

Whether you call it visualizing, simulating, vision-boarding or something else, the technique has been the talk of the personal-development town for years.

Problem is, many proponents:

• Overlay a metaphysical basis for it, leaving all who do not buy into the woo-factor skeptics, and
• Focus exclusively on something called “outcome” visualization that’s been shown in university studies to be less effective than the rarely discussed “process” visualization.

Time for a bit of debunking and pulling back the curtain on how to do it right…

[The following is excerpted and slightly adapted from the book, Career Renegade: How to Make a Great Living Doing What You Love]

Simple fact, without clarity and belief, there is no action.

If you don’t know where you are going, you don’t know what actions to take.  Even if you do know where you want to go, but don’t believe you can get there, you still won’t act.  And, without action, there is no accomplishment.

Clarity allows you to create vivid mental simulations.

Repeating those simulations leads to belief.  And belief fuels action. Repeatedly visualizing a deeply sought after goal, seeing, feeling, hearing yourself accomplish this goal, over and over, has a profound effect. It conditions you slowly away from self-doubt and disbelief and moves you increasingly toward belief.

And, the more you believe, the more likely you are to act.

When you believe something, even marginally, you begin to do a thousand little things differently. You talk to people you’d normally avoid. You ask questions you’d have been too shy to ask. You help people you’d normally ignore. You dress a little better. You interact with more confidence. You carry yourself differently.

You invest time, energy, hours and funds in yourself and others without really noticing how differently you are presenting yourself to the world. To those who come in contact with you, you are different. And the net result of those dozens of microscopic changes in your behavior, in a daily basis is two-fold:

• People perceive you differently - they become responsive because they read in you a sense of confidence, commitment and raw-energy that they want to participate in.
• All the little actions begin to add up - the thousands of nearly imperceptible changes in behavior and modest actions taken on a consistent, daily basis, begin to yield results that take you a step closer to your visualized goal.

Is it better to visualize the goal or visualize the steps?

The approach to visualization or mental simulation most often offered is something called outcome simulation.

It asks you to create a vivid picture of a specific outcome, as if it has already happened.  Maybe it’s crossing the finish line at a race, owning your dream house, toppling a government, getting an A on an exam or doing your dream job for a living.  Outcome simulation can be an effective tool.  But, for many people, especially when it comes to the early-days of a career-revolution, outcome is not the most powerful tool in the visualization arsenal.

Indeed, there is a different approach to visualization that had been shown in a number of published studies to be significantly more powerful.  It’s called process simulation and, true to its name, it focuses on visualizing not the outcome or goal, but the steps and actions needed to get there.

In 1998, researchers divided 84 college students in three groups.  Over a one-week period, for five-minutes each day, students in the process simulation group visualized the actions and steps needed to complete a specified project.  At the same time, students in the outcome simulation group visualized themselves having successfully completed the project.  Students in a third control group did neither.

The results were eye-opening:

• Compared to the control group, students in both the process and the outcome groups were more likely to begin the project on time.  So, both process and outcome simulation got people acting earlier than no simulation.
• The students who visualized themselves having successfully completed the project were significantly more likely to complete it on time.
• The students who visualized the steps needed to complete the project, though, were more likely than both other groups to finish on time and they generally considered the assignment easier than students in the other groups.  (Taylor, S.E., Pham, L.B., Rivkin, I.D., & Armor, D.A. (1998). Harnessing the imagination: Mental simulation, self-regulation, and coping. American Psychologist, 53, 429-439).

In a series of additional studies by Pham and Taylor on undergraduate students in 1997 and 1999, students who engaged in daily process simulation in anticipation of an exam started studying earlier than those who simply visualized getting an A.  And, with more study, not surprisingly, the process simulation group scored an average of 8 points better on the exam than the outcome simulation group, who simply visualized getting an A.

How do we apply this knowledge to your career renegade journey?

Every career renegade journey unfolds in two phases.

The beginning phase involves quite a bit of research, information gathering and planning.  It’s the research and development or R&D phase.  The R&D phase prepares you for the second, more-active phase, aggressive pursuit of a specific career-goal.

During the R&D phase, it is nearly impossible to create an effective outcome simulation, because you don’t yet know where you are going.

This is where process visualization can really shine…

Because your driving force is to act daily in an effort to gather the information needed to establish and go after an ultimate goal.  Process simulation fuels these daily actions.  It drives you to carry out these daily steps and makes you more likely to start earlier, be more consistent and experience these tasks as being less work.

At the beginning of each week in your R&D phase, write out a list of three to five daily actions that will help take you closer to your ultimate career renegade goal.  At this point, many of these actions will be about getting enough information to figure out and test whether that goal is feasible.  Write these actions down, then every day, for five minutes, find a quiet place, sit or lie down and visualize yourself with as much clarity as possible taking those steps and engaging in those actions.

Once you have gathered enough information and established enough knowledge to know, with a great degree of clarity, exactly what you’d like to accomplish, and done the research to be confident that it’s attainment is possible, then it’s time to add outcome simulation to your daily renegade mindset practices.

Outcome visualization comes in many forms.

You can create a visualization or vision board, attaching images that represent what you career and life will look and feel like once you’ve achieved your goal.  You can write a vivid description or record the description as an audio file.  Whatever expression you choose, don’t replace your process simulation with outcome simulation, do them both every day.

This daily dual simulation will go a long way toward cultivating the mindset needed to believe in your ability to pull off your career-evolution and then take the actions needed to make it happen.

[The above was excerpted and adapted from Career Renegade: How to Make a Great Living Doing What You Love].

I recently finished reading a book that blew me away, called Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.

Unlike so many other books that have the words “mindset” and “success” in the title, this was a serious book that steered clear of pop psychology and soundbites and offered a simple, yet astonishingly empowering concept that will forever change the way I approach challenges…and teach my daughter to do the same.

It’s not based not on abstract metaphysics, but on hardcore research conducted by the author, Stanford University Professor and acclaimed developmental psychology researcher, Carol Dweck, Ph.D. The fundamental idea was that, from the time we are little kids, we approach challenge with one of two mindsets:

• The “fixed” mindset or
• The “growth” mindset.

The fixed mindset assumes that our potential to succeed in any particular endeavor is largely determined by genetics. It is a gift that we either have or we don’t. The growth mindset, however, assumes that, barring the rare savant, success in not inborn, but rather is a function of how hard we work at something.

Through a variety of influences that include parents, teachers, friends and colleagues and coaches, we tend to adopt one of the two mindsets fairly early in life. And, which of the two we adopt will likely have a massive impact on both how successful we become in nearly anything…and how fulfilled we remain along the way.

Fixed mindset individuals often excel in an activity early on, but then, once that activity requires a substantial amount of work to move to the next level, instead of stepping up, they back away.

In fact, according to Dweck, they often go further and completely shut down.

Because, in the their mind, “if they really were gifted and talented, they shouldn’t have to work.” “Work,” they believe, “invalidates their claim to talent and that can be a crushing psychological blow when you’ve defined yourself, as so many people do, by a claim to a special gift. Plus, if you either “have it or you don’t,” then there’s no clear path to growth and improvement, once you’ve been defeated by any given challenge.

You’re done. Cooked. Talent debunked.

So, those with a fixed mindset will often achieve early success, but then quickly retreat from progress out of fear of testing their talent, coming up short, then deeming themselves irretrievable failures.

Folks who operated with a growth mindset, however, work on the basic assumption that success comes through work and practice. Understanding this, they welcome challenge, tests and trials as new opportunities to discover where they stand at any given time, then use that information as a benchmark to direct future efforts.

Guided by the growth mindset, you don’t define yourself by a gift or talent, rather by effort.

So you’ve got nothing to lose by regularly testing your current knowledge, skills and abilities. Because, even if you fail at any given trial, unlike the fixed mindset that says you either have it or you don’t, you’ve now got a process to grow and improve by working harder and smarter.

Adopting this mindset leads to not only a higher level of success across the board, but a much happier pathway as well.

The book shares many fascinating case-studies, from 4-year olds all the way up through college and pro athletes, artists, musicians, executives and supposed prodigies of all manner.

And, it shares a relatively straight forward approach to understanding which mindset YOU operate under, then, if necessary, making the transition to the growth mindset.

But, here’s where it gets really interesting…

At the same time I was reading Dweck’s book, there was a lot of hubub in our local paper about my daughter’s elementary school adding a second “Gifted & Talented” class. And, that got me wondering how the concept of Gifted & Talented programs fit into the dual-mindset framework. So, I asked Professor Dweck:

From what you’ve written, it sounds like the net effect of installing a separate track for “gifted and talented” kids, then labeling them as such may be destructive to both the kids intentionally labeled and those inadvertently labeled “not gifted and talented” by default. I wonder whether you might be kind enough to share your thoughts on this topic

And, in short order, Professor Dweck shared this kind reply:

Actually, I don’t have a strong position against gifted programs per se. I believe that all children need to be challenged at school. I am concerned, however, when the “gift” is portrayed as a fixed trait and the label becomes a symbol of worth. Students may then care more about the label than about learning–they may become afraid to take on challenges or make mistakes.

I also don’t like the word “gift.” It implies that abilities are simply bestowed from on high, that some students have them and some don’t, and  that students have no role to play in developing them. Yet, researchers are beginning to agree that giftedness and talent are quite dynamic and can flourish at any time under the right circumstances (or wither under the wrong ones). Research is also showing the enormous role of dedication, practice, and resilience in the development of talent.

So, any gifted program should focus on teaching students how to challenge themselves, seek learning, value and enjoy effort, and recover from setbacks. This is what they need to develop their abilities. Then again, these lessons would help all students develop their abilities.

So, I’m curious. What do you think?

Which mindset do you operate under?

And, how might labeling kids gifted and talented or just plain regular affect the mindset they adopt?

Let’s discuss…

I’ve been blown away by the reception to Career Renegade, “the book.” And, Ive also been overwhelmed by the volume of requests to offer something more than the book, from private launch consulting to retreats, coaching, advanced marketing trainings, social media seminars, copywriting clinics and more.

Thing is, I don’t want to offer anything that you guys don’t want…your time and my time are just too important. So, I’ve posted a survey that lists variety of potential programs and offerings that have been requested, along with very brief descriptions and possible fees (nothing is set in stone). I’d really appreciate if you would take a minute and share what’s most appealing to you, if anything, or add anything you’d be interested in that’s not there.

Thanks, again, for being so cool and sharing what’s on your mind!

I see it all around me. And, yeah, lately, I’ve fallen prey to it, myself…

I’m the guy who’s usually insanely effective at focusing in on what I want, plotting a course, then doing anything and everything to make it happen. I’m “That Renegade Guy.” Got a cape and everything.

So, I’ve been wondering “what’s up with me?” lately.

Damned if it doesn’t suck just a little bit when you’re confronted with your own humanity and fallibility. Turns out, I’m great at giving everyone else a break…not so good when it comes to me.

In the 8-week period that ended 2008 and started 2009, I…

• Sold the company I built for 7 years,
• Launched a book and drove the 3-month “intensive” phase of the release campaign,
• Launched a second blog, website, interview series and podcast.
• Began R&D on up to 5 other companies, the first of which launches next month.

There’s a ton of emotion and work wrapped up in each one of these milestones.

Enough to demand the time and psychic space to recover, to process, to digest, to restore. Time I’ve not yet taken. Instead, I’ve fallen into what is, for me, the very unfamiliar territory of living far too reactively. I know that sounds like an odd thing to say, in light of how busy I am right now.

But, busy and conscious are two very different things.

Busyness that’s not driven by clarity and purpose is almost always a bad thing. And, it’s near impossible to find clarity and purpose without space. At least, for me.

So, question is, what am I going to do about it?

Here’s what. I’ll be stepping back a bit and asking whether the millions of things that are keeping me busy these days are the things that are moving me toward my continuing quest to come alive…or just keeping me from re-examining “what” will make me come alive as I move into what is very much a new phase of both my career and my life (don’t worry, not bailing on the blog!).

And, I invite you ask that same question and share your thoughts with our amazing family below.

• What’s keeping you so incredibly busy right now? And…
• is what’s keeping you so busy moving you strongly in the direction of coming alive…or simply keeping you so busy you don’t have to think about what you really want to do, and why you’re not doing it?

As always, would love to hear your thoughts…

[Guest post from Wisebread.com's Lynn Truong, co-author of 10,001 Ways to Live Large on a Small Budget]

Working from home sounds like a very simple concept. But there are a lot of built-in structures and boundaries inherent in a going-to-the-office job that we often take for granted.  Recreating those boundaries when our home and work is one and the same is a crucial part of achieving a work-life balance.

The personal battle

One common trap of working from home is allowing your personal life to bleed into your work. A lack of discipline and motivation as well as a myriad of temptations lurking in every corner of your home can affect your productivity big time.  This is the most obvious situation (and the one most often addressed) when considering the pitfalls of working from home. But there is a lot of support and feedback (in fact an entire industry) for this problem, and can be remedied by a host of productivity tools and exercises.

The work battle

However, the other trap, the one that is less easily recognized, is allowing your work to bleed into your personal life. Now, I realize that this doesn’t apply to everyone. I work with two partners who are both single guys who sleep too little and work too much. But they enjoy their work and are motivated by it. I don’t suggest that they take more “me” time. If they ever start to get burnt out, their balance can be restored by simply taking a week off or watching a season of 24 in one sitting.

When I talk about needing work-life balance, particularly when you work at home, I’m referring to those who have personal relationships that are a part of the home – be it spouse, children and/or partner. Compromising these relationships in the name of your work is easy, and often completely unintentional, but damaging nevertheless. The following tips are the things that made it possible to live my entrepreneurial dream and keep a happy home at the same time.

Unconscious Cues

These tips are often used to help productivity, but in case you’ve ignored them because you have no problems with productivity, these things will also help you create an on/off switch for “work mode.” Your body is amazingly attuned to your environment and habits. Sleep experts will tell you not to work in bed so your body will be able to identify the bed with rest. Keeping simple routines will help your body tell the difference between work time and home time. When you don’t have something like a commute to and from work, you need to create other cues to help your mind and body ramp up for and then wind down from work.

1. Get dressed. Yes, this is one of the biggest luxuries of working from home. It’s beautiful to be able to walk from the bedroom to the office in my PJs to turn on the computer, walk downstairs with bed hair to make coffee, and make it for a conference call before brushing my teeth.  But it’s important to cue your body and mind to take off “home” and put on “work.”  Then, when you get out of your work clothes, you might be better able to get out of your work mode, too.  You don’t need to get into your best suit and tie – wear something comfortable, but at least suitable for the UPS guy to see you in (admittedly, the UPS guy has caught me in bed hair and bunny slippers on more than one occasion).

2. Create a work space. Don’t work in bed. Don’t work on the couch. Get a grown up chair and table that’s only used for your work. Find a space that you can get peace, quiet, and privacy. Get the supplies and equipment that you need to be efficient and comfortable. Make the space separate and different from the rest of your house (try painting the room a different color). If you can create a boundary for your work space, you will also be setting up a home space by default. If you’re taking your laptop all around the house to work, your family will feel that no place is safe from your work. At the same time, don’t allow your family to take over your office space, either. It should be clutter free (or in my case, only cluttered with work stuff).

3. Display family photos. Do you have a photo of your family in your home office? I find it very interesting when people don’t consider it for their home office, yet most offices and cubicles are littered with photos of family and friends. When you are physically away, it seems of utmost importance to have that reminder at your desk of your life away from work. When there is little physical distinction between your home life and work life, you might start to think you don’t really have a life away from work. Put some photos at your desk so you are reminded how lucky you are that you can give your kids a hug and a kiss right now…and go ahead and actually do it.

4. Set office hours. It doesn’t have to resemble normal business hours. It can start at 2am and end at noon. It can be in 2 hour blocks with 1 hour breaks to attend to the kids.  It can change on a daily basis. But having a schedule with your set office hours will let your family know when you’re working and when you’re available for them. This will also ensure that you schedule in your family every day, too. It’s hard to believe, but if you don’t, you may forget. Take advantage of your flexible schedule to take a few hours off to bring the kids to the beach on a weekday, when it’s less crowded. Make a to do list with your family, so you can plan and look forward to hanging out with them as much as your conference calls and deadlines.

5. Don’t do chores while you work. Set parameters around doing personal tasks during the day. There are a lot of errands and chores that we have to take care of when running a household. If it isn’t a trip to the grocery store it’s laundry that needs to be done. If it isn’t dishes to be put away it’s the garden that needs tending. The beauty of working from home is that you are less restricted by when you need to do those things. But if you take work time to do home stuff, you’ll just as easily take home time to do work stuff. Like I pointed out above, it’s perfectly fine to work for two hours and then take a one hour break to clean the house, if that’s the schedule you’ve decided on. Just make sure that you’re not jumping back and forth haphazardly.

6. Keep hydrated. You might not even notice that you’re thirsty, but before you know it you’ve gone six hours straight on no food or water. If you don’t take care of your health while you work, you won’t fully be present when you’re with your family. All of a sudden you’ll realize how exhausted you are, and will fall asleep during movie night. Also, drinking water will force you to get up and at least walk to the bathroom, so you’re not literally glued to your chair for hours.

7. Take breaks. Schedule in break times . You can schedule them at a certain time or after a certain task, but it’s important that you schedule them. It gets you into the habit of stopping work. If you just take a break whenever you feel like it, you’ll find that you won’t feel like it too often. But if you take your specified breaks, the idea of letting work go at the end of the day won’t be so hard. For example I will be sure to catch Oprah every day. You’ll learn that work will still be there when you get back, and that it’s okay to stop working to do something less “important.”

8. Go outside. In the confines of your small home office, it’s difficult to see beyond your work. Make sure to get some real world time every day, even if it’s just to stand out on your porch for 10 minutes. Walk, get some sun, smell the fresh air. There’s no better way to quickly get some perspective. There’s a lot of life to live. Remember what and who you’re working so hard for, and make sure you don’t miss any of it.

9. File. It’s amazing how much paperwork and just stuff can pile up in your office. Unlike a regular office environment where there might be an abundance of file cabinets and administrative assistants to take care of menial tasks like filing, you have to do it yourself (or hire someone). Either way, make sure you take care of it, and during your office hours, please. If it gets out of hand, you’ll be tempted to use off office hours (because you’re too busy during) to tidy up…time that is supposed to be for your family.

10. Have a trigger for winding down. Most 9-5ers are eagerly watching the clock at the end of the day. They know they have to start finishing things up for the day by a certain time so they can get out of there. They are prepared to do what they can, and get back to it, tomorrow. For those who work from home, though, this is an extremely difficult thing to do. The computer is always within reach. It’s always possible to get back to work and get more things done. If you have an office you need to leave, the only option you have at home is to spend that time with your family. But when your work is at home, it’s always in competition. Do I watch Lost with my husband or work on that project?

It shouldn’t be an option though. You need to develop cues to help you wind down and let the work go…until tomorrow. Decide on a time every day to close out your email. Write up notes on things to do tomorrow and plan out your next day. These are things that will help you leave work for the next day. Also, by making a to do list and preparing for the next day, it will remove any guilt you might feel about stopping work, even though you are still able to work.

Flexibility is your greatest ally

The reason I love to work from home is that it gives me the freedom to be flexible with my time. I hated that I was forced to be at my desk every day for a specific duration for no good reason, really. So putting aside all these rules, parameters, schedules and boundaries that you have to have in order to keep you from working nonstop and ignoring your family completely, the biggest advantage you have is that you can be flexible. Use that. It’s easy to move things around without affecting your work. We often forget that making time is actually an option. If the car breaks down or the pipes explode, we have no other choice than to drop what we’re doing and make the time to fix it. We do this without even thinking. But we rarely consider making time for the small things in life, because it’s easier to just put it off. We can always make time. It’s just a matter of whether we really want to.

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Lynn Truong is the co-author of 10,001 Ways to Live Large on a Small Budget, a book filled with savvy personal finance and career tips.  Lynn is giving away 5 Flip Cams to 5 lucky readers who buy the book today.  Anyone who buys the book can also get a $15 bonus from Ebates.com, where you earn 3-10% cash back from over 1,000 retailers.